Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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