We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
