Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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