your room smells of hookers.
And success
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize