No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So many bounce houses so little time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
