TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
