some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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