i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
