I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
