You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
