So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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