He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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