I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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