We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
