am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
