White coat. Heels.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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