Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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