We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
