literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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