better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We are two peas in an std pod
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
