i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize