Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
