This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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