Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
