I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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