It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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