Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
