Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
