is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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