Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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