He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
