i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
