why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
