He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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