There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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