Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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