There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hippo gnu deer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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