we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
