He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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