sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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