hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
