my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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