ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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