Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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