I accidentally burped into my bong.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
