Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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