she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
