my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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