What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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