Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
