Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
