i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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