The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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