WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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