He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
