Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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