not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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