I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
