Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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