Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize